How To Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely

In August this year, while on a writing spree for my blog, I suddenly started experiencing monotony and extreme boredom. For a moment, all I wanted was to run away from home and do something different than what I have been doing. Not that I don’t love my family, but I simply wanted to be away from my usual place for a while. I impulsively booked myself for a trip with a group of strangers without even paying a second thought to the idea. As the trip neared, I started feeling afraid that I might feel lonely on the trip as it was my first time travelling without friends or family.

Surprisingly, the trip that I thought would make me feel lonely turned out to be the most fulfilling experience of my life and gave me some of the best friends I’ve ever had. This solo trip certainly taught me a ton about myself and helped me learn that I can be alone without being lonely.

Loneliness is nothing more than a state of mind. You can feel lonely in spite of being surrounded by hundreds of people and you can stay far away from loneliness even if you are all alone. It all depends upon how you feel about yourself and how much you know yourself. You can let people get inspired by you for dining all alone in the cafes without needing any company or you can let them call you ‘losers’ or ‘loners’ for not being good enough to have friends. But let me tell you, the one who can stand the fear of their own company has the true ability to conquer the world.

So if you feel lonely and not good enough to attract people who can be your companions, then let me introduce you to the fact that it’s not your appearance or your lifestyle or your behavior that requires change. The solution to your loneliness lies within you as a simple desire to change the mindset that forms the reason why you feel lonely.

If you have been struggling with loneliness lately, below are a few ways that will help you enjoy being alone:

1. Love Yourself: Simply stated, if you fear your own company, there’s nobody in this world who can be your ideal companion. Practicing self-love is something that can make you realize that you are a beautiful person inside and out and you are worthy of being loved. Every minute that you will spend on yourself will make you feel proud about how you didn’t waste your time looking for someone else but yourself to fill the void in your life. Pamper your body, smile more often and focus on self-improvement as a way to feel happy even if you are alone.

2. Know yourself: Have you ever noticed how you just end up liking or hating people as you get to know them? Imagine how much of an ideal companion you can be to yourself when you will discover things about yourself that you had never known. It’s important to know yourself to fall in love with your own company and to be your best friend.

3. Adopt a healthy lifestyle: There is something powerful about building a healthy lifestyle that makes you feel confident within yourself. When you are waking up early, eating properly and following a proper exercise routine, a sudden air of contentment hits you making you realize that you have your own perfect company. A healthy body and mind is bound to feel happy about itself which is why it’s important that you learn to take care of yourself by following a healthy lifestyle.

4. Discover what you love: It’s human tendency to push their own hobbies aside to be able to spend time with others simply because they fear to be alone. When you are out of a relationship or are away from your family, you are bound to feel lonely. But this is exactly when you can grab the opportunity to get in touch with your hobbies again and discover new things about yourself. Find out what makes you happy in the truest sense and cultivate it to make your life worth living. I discovered my love for reading and writing while living away from my family which is why I have been able to start this very blog that you are reading.

5. Go on a solo trip: Solo trips are a great reminder that you have the world at your feet and you don’t need a company to explore it. It gives you a feeling of self-sufficiency and helps you discover a world that will certainly surprise you. When you go places and meet new people, you will not only learn a ton about what lies out there in the world but also how much you can keep growing as an individual.

6. Accept yourself: When you stop complaining about your life and learn to accept yourself for who you are, there’s nobody else you’ll need to live your life in the happiest way possible. Personally, people who love being alone and in their own company are the ones who I feel most attracted to. Every person in my life who loves solitude has inspired me to be happy in my own company.

7. Build your self-esteem: Having low self-esteem might be a big reason that you don’t see yourself as your perfect companion. Once you learn to embrace your flaws, you will stop looking for validation from others. Love your body, your skin color, your facial features and everything else that has ever made you feel under-confident. Your flaws can’t define who you are and when you learn to love yourself despite the many flaws that you have, you will stop searching for someone to tell you that you are beautiful.

8. Create a life worth living: The one who isn’t contended with life will usually look for company to take their mind off it. Build your life around your interests and make it worth living. Listen to your favorite music and sing aloud. When everything around you will start making you happy, you will stop feeling lonely.

Being lonely is mainly a matter of choice. There’s no guarantee that having a companion will stop making you feel lonely. Even people with perfectly compatible partners feel lonely at times and at the same time, there can be people who are perfectly happy being single. All you need to do is look for companionship within yourself to be able to be contended being alone. In other words, you need to take yourself out on a date every now and then to get to know yourself better. Trust me, there’s no one more likable than someone who loves their own company. You might have all the luxuries in the world but you are only complete when you are not lonely despite being alone.

10 Replies to “How To Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely”

  1. This is a beautiful blog post, and such an important topic! I’ve been single for four years now and people always ask me if I don’t get lonely. And my slogan is “alone Ian’s lonely”. I know many people in relationships that are lonelier than I am. The steps and tips you’ve written are amazing, and I know because I’ve implicated them in my life and they’ve helped me self love and enjoy my own company. Thanks so much for sharing this!

    1. Hi Michal,
      You’re so right. The world around us is changing and every time I meet people who are not just embracing singlehood but rocking it, I feel so inspired. It’s so important to learn to be comfortable in your own company. In fact, it’s the most beautiful thing to fall in love with yourself and live life on your own terms. I read some of your blogs and couldn’t help but think that you are someone to look up to. Keep inspiring, girl!

  2. These are some great tips and this topic is so important! I spent so much time avoiding myself and fearing being alone. But Singlehood thankfully forced me to work on myself and overcome that. I learned that alone isn’t lonely, it’s actually quite awesome. Many people that aren’t alone are even lonelier. I even enjoy my own company than I do others many times. Thanks so much for sharing this!

  3. Thank you so much for “How to be Alone Without”. This was very detailed, informative and so inspiring. It was just what I needed to encourage me to not live in self pity.

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