How To Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After A Setback

Several events in life can leave you in a position where you keep questioning your self-worth and doubt your abilities to achieve anything in life. Broken relationships, bad health and a slow moving career can be the major reasons why you may find yourself immersed in a feeling of self-doubt. You keep wondering what it is that you lack that you didn’t get a promotion at work or which part of you made the person who you loved with all your heart pull away. It’s when you start finding flaws in yourself that you start feeling low on self-esteem.

I, for one, have struggled with a lot of self-esteem issues back when I wasn’t at the best of my health. I had lost a lot of weight and the weakness that my body felt made me lose a lot of my confidence. I started speaking less because I thought people won’t take me seriously. I would withdraw participation from public speaking events because I thought my voice lacked the energy required for it. It was then that I realized that your self-esteem also depends on how good your health is. I knew that the only thing that would get me out of this was taking care of my body, and it was only when I took the challenge that I was able to get back my confidence.

Even simple things can look challenging when you are struggling with low self-esteem. But the cache here is that the only person who believes that ‘you can’t do this’ is you. The essence of rebuilding your self-esteem lies in improving your self-image. You need to realize that the only person who can help you get back to your best self is ‘you’.

So if you’ve been struggling with low self-esteem and want to work on gaining it back, here are a few tips that can help you in the process:

1. Think positive: The level of your self-esteem mainly depends upon your thinking process. You are bound to feel low on self-esteem if your mind keeps thinking that ‘I can’t do this’. When you start observing things in a positive light and try to be optimistic with every step that you take, you will magically feel more confident than ever.

2. Get rid of negative thoughts: Negative thoughts have the power to suck your confidence out and can gradually lessen your self-esteem. Failed relationships, for example, can make you feel that there’s no good in the world which can impact your overall behaviour towards people. Regret, jealousy and hatred are some forms of negative feelings that you need to get rid of in order to rebuild your self-esteem. If you want to get rid of negative thoughts and become a more positive person, here’s a post that can come handy.

3. Always look your best: How you see yourself is exactly how people look at you. When you feel confident that you are looking good, you will start seeing that image of yours in the eyes of the people you interact with. Do your hair and wear your favorite dress before stepping out of the house and you will feel like this confident person who is all set to conquer the world.

4. Take positive actions: Some small positive actions like accomplishing every task with zeal, smiling while talking to people and offering a helping hand every now and then can actually boost your self-esteem. Make sure that you only talk about positive things when you are interacting with others. Not only will you come across as a positive thinker, you’ll also feel great about yourself.

5. Be kind to others: Try being kind to others even if it gets you nothing. You can make someone feel good simply by being a good listener to them or making them a part of your happiness. The fact that you made someone smile will make you feel that you are worthy of all the love in the world and you will learn to appreciate yourself more.

6. Live by your values and principles: No matter what others think or feel about you, don’t give in to the peer pressure by trying to live by someone else’s principles. You are bound to feel low on self-esteem when you stop respecting your own values and think of others’ values as superior than yours. Focus on what you feel is right and act to your best judgement.

7. Be prepared: Always prepare yourself in advance for every situation that is to come ahead. This will not only help avoid confusion but will assure you that whatever you are doing is perfect and that you don’t have to reconsider your actions as you are already prepared for it. When you know what you are doing, you will feel more confident to take a step ahead without really caring about the results that may follow.

8. Smile more often: Smile works like a psychological self-esteem booster. Once you learn to smile through everything in life, you will become emotionally equipped to take on the challenges that have always scared you.  

9. Gain more knowledge: Knowledge is the biggest asset one can possess. When you know that you have knowledge about a particular subject, you are bound to feel high on confidence. Knowledge gives you an edge over others and it can boost your self-esteem in a way nothing else can.

10. Be pro-active: Stop procrastinating or putting things off for later. Do something productive that makes you feel good about yourself and gives you a feeling of accomplishment. Even little things like making your bed, cooking your own meal, waking up early in the morning or making time for your hobbies can do wonders for your self-esteem.

11. Don’t fear being stupid: The one thing that holds us back in life is the fear of being judged by others. If you think too much before doing or saying something because you might look stupid, then it’s time to let go of that fear. Try to be more outspoken and share your point of view without fearing what others might think.

12. Look at yourself as the most beautiful person: Every time that you look at yourself in the mirror, think of yourself as the most beautiful person to ever inhabit this planet. Appreciate your facial features, your figure and your smile while you look in the mirror. Your self-esteem will get an immediate boost one you stop finding flaws in yourself.

What you think of yourself forms a huge part of who you ultimately become. A high self-esteem is what can distinguish you from the rest and make your happy and successful in all areas of life. How you pick yourself up after a discouraging phase determines how strong a person you become. So shed away that fear and know your self-worth to get closer to your goals.

2 Replies to “How To Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After A Setback”

  1. First off, I LOVE the purpose of this post. So many of us need to know we’re not alone and that we are supported by others, thank you.
    I just have a couples “but”s.
    I think with all the positivity pushing, which YES is powerful for self-esteem and manifestation, toxic positivity should be mentioned and warned against. Toxic positivity is forcing yourself to deny reality or feelings for the sake of remaining “positive”, and this often affects others just as badly as it does yourself. There are many things within and without you that you need to accept for what it is, without trying to alter or overlook it, because we cannot change everything or ignore everything we can’t change, and fooling ourselves into believing something untrue just because it’s “positive” is setting yourself up for failure. My point, I DO NOT reccomend limiting yourself to ONLY talking positively with others. How are we meant to grow if we don’t address real issues with a realistic mindset? How are we meant to feel prepared for the challenges in life without having acknowledged and addressed the issue beforehand, collaborating our knowledge and individual power with other’s? We can’t imagine doing this all alone, this life thing, without the people we look up to to guide us. We have to be able to approach these people without shame of our self-doubt and negativity, honestly, for them to be able to reassure us that our self-doubt is for nothing, that we are stronger than we realize. Honesty, for the sake of your peace of mind, takes priority over “positivity”.
    Which leads me into my next point, you are not setting yourself up for success when you attempt to make the “perfect” plan for a challenge. I’m sorry if I’m the first person to tell you; Perfection is only found in imperfection(perfection doesn’t exist in other words). So expect your plan to fall through, and figure out what your next step will be, then believe in yourself to carry on to the next step despite the struggle. Believe in yourself to think and innovate on the spot, to see other opportunities that WILL be available. One door closes, another one opens. Be ready for that, believe in yourself, and you got this.
    Be real with yourself and others. Address your inner critic and don’t forget to listen when your inner friend tells that inner critic where to shove it, cause you’re worthy no matter what mistakes you make. Worthy of love, forgiveness, and millions of second chances. Never give up on that belief, and let other’s who see your worthiness be there to support you along the way, by being honest when you’re feeling less than positive.
    That’s all.

  2. Then what do you do with the’JEALOUSY’? When women gossip about you, point you out to others and laugh at you. What do you do with MEN standing outside your house trying to tempt you outside. What do you do when women you know push their trolley at you in the supermarket and deliberately knock into you or even walk into you putting themselves in danger? It is an evil society we live I’m afraid?

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