If there’s one thing I could change about my life, it would be definitely be shedding away that forever-scared attitude that didn’t leave me until my twenties. Participating in the college placements is something that I thought of as a nightmare back in 2016. The feeling of self-doubt kept mounting with every job interview that didn’t go my way. My confidence kept dwindling and I started believing that I didn’t deserve to get a job.
Many of my friends tried to console me by saying that things would eventually get better and that I must not let a bad phase affect me. But when self-doubt seems to have found a place in your mind, it doesn’t really matter what others say or believe. I was clearly selling myself short which further made way for a severe inferiority complex. When I finally got placed with one of my dream companies, I looked back at the placement period as a life-changing lesson.
Self-doubt is yet another way of holding yourself back from pursuing your best self. It’s like kicking away every amazing opportunity that’s coming your way with the belief that you don’t deserve good things in life. It’s a limiting belief that’s more like an illusion created by your own mind – just like fear.
But the truth is that there’s no fear that can’t be overcome. So if you have been doubting your ability to conquer the world, now is the time to finally get rid of it.
Here are a few tips and tricks that have helped me in overcoming self-doubt and that you can apply in your own life to finally stop doubting yourself once and for all:
1. Accept And Embrace The Feeling Of Self-Doubt – I started developing severe self-doubt at the age of 15 when I was asked to participate in a debate competition. Being an under-confident teenager, the fear of being judged for speaking my mind in a debate gripped me like anything. I was anxious and self-conscious and frightened. And I only heaved a sigh of relief when it was over, with me winning nothing.
As I went on to participate in more public speaking competitions during my school and college life, I realized that self-doubt can turn against you if you refuse to accept it. Try thinking of it as an inner critic that keeps you away from being over-confident. Acknowledge it as an inner voice that exists to teach you why you need to give your best to every situation in life.
2. Take Cues From The Past – When self-doubt tries to tell you that you can’t achieve that goal you have been aiming for, remind yourself of the times in your past when you actually achieved your goals and fought self-doubt. Remind yourself about how you got over that ex who you thought you will never be able to forget.
Whenever I doubt myself, I remind myself about the times when I was able to build my business even with a zero self-belief. Taking cues from the past helps me learn that if I could do it back then, I have the ability to do it again.
3. Be Vocal About Your Thoughts – Keeping your thoughts to yourself can often amplify the feeling of self-doubt. So when you start thinking that you don’t have it in you to reach your goals, talk about it to someone who is willing to listen. Tell them how you feel and how your thoughts are stopping you from pursuing your best self. Being vocal will help you realize that you are not alone in this journey of life and that everyone around find themselves in the grip of self-doubt every now and then. Besides that, talking with someone might also help you see things in a different light.
4. Do Not Compare Yourself To Others – The tendency of comparing yourself to others is often the main reason why you find yourself engaging in self-doubt. I am guilty of doing this many a times in the past and the only lesson I have learned is that comparison always magnifies the feeling of self-doubt. You look at a picture of a friend of yours posing outside his new house and your inner self starts believing that you will never be able to have a house of your own. You look at people going on vacations twice a year and you drown yourself in a never ending cycle of self-doubt about how you will never be able to manage to give that life to your family.
If you ever start thinking that you don’t have the ability to achieve what others have, remind yourself about how far you have come in life. Compare your present self to your past self and measure the distance you have covered in terms of your personal growth and financial health.
5. Stop Worrying About What Others Feel Or Think – I have seen people doubting themselves because someone else doubted their abilities to do something. And the ones who didn’t let others’ opinions get to them always ended up being more successful.
If you are always worrying about what people think about you, you will end up killing the urge to do something big in life. Let’s set it straight. No one really cares what you do and if they still chose to doubt you, let go of these people.
6. Surround Yourself With Believers – The people you surround yourself with help shape you up as a person. Self-doubt can be contagious. If you surround yourself with those who are always doubting themselves, the feeling might creep up on you as well. So find people who can make you feel confident about your abilities and who are willing to share their trait of self-belief with you.
I won’t be lying if I say that I still face self-doubt every now and then. There are times when I get the feeling of not being good enough to have my eyes set on certain goals and dreams. But my past experiences have always helped me see that self-doubt is just a limiting belief that exists in my own mind.
Self-doubt is yet another destructive inner voice that only you have the ability to kill. So every time you feel that you aren’t made for good things in life, don’t forget to remind yourself of your ability to find your way to those good things. End that self-doubt once and for all!